MORE CHANGES IN A
Speaker Friday night kept thanking the group for allowing her back into the AA meeting room time after time after time--smelling of alcohol, slurring words, etc.--for eight long months! She celebrated her Fourth sober anniversary Friday.
Until a month ago I believed there was one way to get clean and sober--simply, to stop drinking and using. And one way to STAY sober. I have come to realize (again) that people "slip" in and out of these programs repeatedly. With patience, tolerance and humble welcoming again and again by us Peeps, some of them MAKE IT!
The following may sound like I'm tooting my horn, but no, I play a violin. My ideas, thoughts, my whole philosophy has been rapidly changing. It is almost as though I feel I cannot keep up with it. Like there is not enough time left in life to be again in "amend" mode. I do not mean to tell a million people that I am sorry. I mean to CHANGE, guys. It's called entire psychic change in our Big Book, in "The Doctor's Opinion".
I'll try to cut to the chase here. For a long time I have felt (again) not good enough. Wow! I bet THAT never happened to anybody before me? --grin! In and during the course of a six-week period, a scooter trip, visits with congenial peeps and loads of prayer, I have noticed changes happening to me, almost like "on-the-spot". It is as if I am not in control--well, I'm NOT --grin!
My scooter driving has improved--I wear a helmet, have stopped speeding, turn off blinkers, check tires, carry insurance, get regular oil changes and I don't give the one-fingered salute to drivers who cut me off. All this has happened quite suddenly
I have cut back on meetings. Isn't that a strange change to boast? But it did seem like I only felt good at meetings. And so I spent lots of time there.
And my sponsor told me that someone with many years of AA sobriety did not "need" 3-4 meetings a day (25/week...100/month). It is not easy for me to "cut back" on an addiction. Much more simple to cut it out altogether. I will go to one-a-day, like a vitamin. OK? --OK!
Instead of "going with the flow", I learned (while riding alone on the road, and using good counsel) to make quick decisions, right or wrong. Sure I used the experience of years of observation, but that does not take the place of "doing the deed". I'm not talking about big decisions, just the little day-to-day ones, which I (being a top-dog Codie!) seldom had the privilege of performing. It's called "DO-IT", a four-letter word if I ever used one.
These are some of the things I am learning--or re-learning--in my life's Fourth Quarter, in continual sobriety, and I am LOVING it. New freedoms emerge daily hidden in my goals of personal sobriety, desire to be of service to others, and in trying to merge my will with God's Will. What FREEDOM is in that! God makes the real decisions, I just seek and follow His Will, His example, as best I can.
Sobriety, Patience, Tolerance, Peace, and Quiet Love for all is my prayer for all us Peeps today.