Wednesday, September 23, 2009





Speaker Friday night kept thanking the group for allowing her back into the AA meeting room time after time after time--smelling of alcohol, slurring words, etc.--for eight long  months!  She celebrated her Fourth sober anniversary Friday.

Until a month ago I believed there was one way to get clean and sober--simply, to stop drinking and using.  And one way to STAY sober.  I have come to realize (again) that people "slip" in and out of these programs repeatedly.  With patience, tolerance and humble welcoming again and again by us Peeps, some of them MAKE IT!


The following may sound like I'm tooting my horn, but no, I play a violin.  My ideas, thoughts, my whole philosophy has been rapidly changing.  It is almost as though I feel I cannot keep up with it.  Like there is not enough time left in life to be again in "amend" mode. I do not mean to tell a million people that I am sorry.  I mean to CHANGE, guys.  It's called entire psychic change in our Big Book, in "The Doctor's Opinion".

I'll try to cut to the chase here.  For a long time I have felt (again) not good enough. Wow!  I bet THAT never happened to anybody before me? --grin!  In and during the course of a six-week period, a scooter trip, visits with congenial peeps and loads of prayer, I have noticed changes happening to me, almost like "on-the-spot".  It is as if I am not in control--well, I'm NOT --grin!

My scooter driving has improved--I  wear a helmet,  have stopped speeding, turn off blinkers, check tires, carry insurance, get regular oil changes and I don't give the one-fingered salute to drivers who cut me off.  All this has happened quite suddenly

I have cut back on meetings.  Isn't that a strange change to boast?  But it did seem like I only felt good at meetings. And so I spent lots of time there.  

And my sponsor told me that someone with many years of AA sobriety did not "need" 3-4 meetings a day (25/week...100/month).  It is not easy for me to "cut back" on an addiction.  Much more simple to cut it out altogether. I will go to one-a-day, like a vitamin. OK? --OK!

Instead of "going with the flow", I learned (while riding alone on the road, and using good counsel) to make quick decisions, right or wrong.  Sure I used the experience of years of observation, but that does not take the place of "doing the deed".  I'm not talking about big decisions, just the little day-to-day ones, which I (being a top-dog Codie!) seldom had the privilege of performing.  It's called "DO-IT", a four-letter word if I ever used one.

These are some of the things I am learning--or re-learning--in my life's Fourth Quarter, in continual sobriety, and I am LOVING it.  New freedoms emerge daily hidden in my goals of personal sobriety, desire to be of service to others, and in trying to merge my will with  God's Will.  What FREEDOM is in that!  God makes the real decisions, I just seek and follow His Will, His example, as best I can.

Sobriety, Patience, Tolerance, Peace, and Quiet Love for all is my prayer for all us Peeps today.


Alice Audrey said...

Sounds like your trip was very, very good for you. Great!

Tall Kay said...

Your excitement just jumps off the page (or out of the computer)! You always leave a smile on my face, and you make my day just a little better! I am sooo enjoying watching the changes happen right before our eyes. My heart is even smiling! Keep doing what you're doing...it's working!

wolfie185 said...

I don't want to sound mean here but with going to so many meetings weren't you missing out a bit on life and a real chance to pratice these principles in all our affairs? The thought of living in a monastery is very appealing to me, it is safe, peaceful and filled with other people who are on the same path as me but it lacks the chance to apply principles of my faith to daily living, I would be avoiding living life on lifes terms in a monastery almost the same as I was with alcohol and over time I might become just as stark raving nuts.

I am happy to hear about your new changes and the way you describe them. I have this funny image in my head of a dignified older gentlemen on a scooter flipping someone the bird and it is a riot. Thanks for the honesty, it shows how important it is to all of us, especially the newer peeps that we have on board.

Enjoy the ride!!

Mariana Soffer said...

Very interesting post, and blog. Congratulations on the content and on the well written it is. I just wanted to ask you a question, do you really belive in god? does it help to keep you sober beliving in it? because I have a similar problem than the one you are fighting with, but I do not belive in god, I can not do it. But I belive in spirituality and being a better person for humanity.
Do you think a program like yours could help me? if not what would you recomend for myself?
Thanks a lot for your time indeed
Take Care

Shadow said...

hmmm, proof that the programme works means (for you) you should be able to do with one meeting a day, right?

Queenneenee said...

Hello Mr. Roni-I am one of those that you describe in the beginning of your post. In and out. But even when I stayed IN I was still OUT. I kept going-you know like we say "keep coming". and it eventually worked when I decided to surrender. It has been a fabulous journey ever since. So I try to be of service to all newcomers, but I have a special place in my heart for those that continue to use and suffer while they are just coming in. Just my 2 cents. Have a great day!!!

Dulce said...

You lovely peep!

Anonymous said...


Great changes, Steve-O. Just don't leave us at TSR. The chatroom isn't the same without you.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

:) ((((HUGS)))) <---that's virtual bear hugs that I wish you could feel in the reality!

Participating in and witnessing the changes happening in everyone from first to the fourth quarter is exciting and keeps the enthusiasm running rampant through the program.

I'm grateful for every experience that you've had and shared, Good and bad, because you are helping me more than you will ever know! :)

God knows!

:) Much love!!!

John DeFlumeri Jr said...

Nice, Steve, Nice! Change is always happening and we adapt the best we can.
Good Living today!

Gin said...

Steve I just love you. You are constantly learning every day. It is a good example for all of us that no matter how old you are, (okay I know that in a round-about way I am calling you old here), we should never stop looking for opportunities to learn. Beautiful.

Cat said...

However your program works for you - work it baby! ( hehe!!!)


Ed G. said...

Glad to hear that you've been in a "teachable" space but I worry that you might need more than 4-5 meetings a day, not less...

Just kidding.

I wish you continued growth, insight and health.

Blessings and aloha...

Syd said...

I don't think that I could enjoy all that life has to offer if I went to 3-4 meetings a day. I know that I am not an alcoholic and that it's not a live or die situation for me. However, I find that 3 meetings a week is good for me. I need to live life and do most things in moderation.

mile191 said...

hmmmm. about feeling not good enough...

You are amazing, and full of light and strength. love and prayers to you all the way from me.

take care friend...and thanks.

mile 191

Margie said...

It's always a joy to come here Steve!
I've always had the opinion that change is good as we learn from change and all the remarkable changes you have made in your life are wonderful.


Dulce said...

Hi again... been scannining your for this morning I only had time to skip it!
And again I say you great peep; i am glad you are taking the right decision... (it's high time!!)
Been missing you today...by my blog!

Banana Girl said...

I get that "go with the flow" warning. I cannot do that and remain connected to my HP. I have to be in the connection executing directional guidance. Otherwise my surrender is the irresponsible me coming out to play. It is not the surrender needed to empower me to work with my creator to stay sober one more hour let alone for another 24. Love this post. Vibrant!

Eli said...

Wow, Steve. I can't help but feel that I've benefited from some of the philosophical changes you mentioned at the beginning of this post. It was exactly a month ago that I slipped, and a couple of weeks ago repeated my mistake. Your comments through all of this have been encouraging and helpful.

I don't know why I'm turning out to be one of those people who slip several times before they "get it", but I can tell you that I do believe I AM getting it. I feel hopeful, and I'm really throwing myself into the program. Just for today...

Rose Marie Raccioppi said...

A return, a cheer, and admiration for such strength and determination. An inspired read for sure. The spirit is magnetic!