DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Saturday, September 19, 2009

"SCREW YOU"....AND...."THANK YOU"




Pissed Off!

Recently I had the honor of telling a 54-year-old man that when he needs or wants money--go to the bank.  That's where they keep the money.  He got all huffy about this.  In fact, he hung up on me.  I sponsor this guy.

Money seems to be a big thing in his life.  His father seems to be where he thinks the money IS.  He is the beneficiary of an insurance policy on his father's life.  His father "signed" it over to him.  He cashed it in for the "cash value".  His father, meantime changed his mind (asshole father, really!) and canceled the disbursement of funds .  Got the picture?

Well, during the next conversation, I'm hearing that this same man (age 54) told his father that he "owed" him a new truck, because the father had promised it to him thirty-six (36) years ago!  Can you see me shaking my head?  I'm wondering, "What manner of man IS this?  He is unmarried, no children, good job in Chicago (self-employed home remodeling) and I am his sponsor the half-year he spends in Naples.  Got the picture?

So more than once, I said to him--"Sir, when we need money, or want money, or a new truck, we go to the BANK.  Because that is where the money is kept. OK?"  He balked greatly at this comment, which I kept repeating--he's the kind of guy who talks right while I am talking, which Fks up a phone conversation for me.


Thank You!

So today he called and kept on expressing his gratitude, his thanks to me, to God, to his other sponsor, to his seven sisters, etc.  He thanked ME for releasing him from the obsession of thinking that his father "owed" him ANYTHING.  He thanked me for suggesting that at age 54 he might consider "making it on his own".  I had told him it was grow-up time. He might even consider becoming a responsible 7-year sober ADULT.

He will be here Thanksgiving through April, and we will go to many meetings together.  And we have both changed this past half year, as I will be blogging over the next few days (only about MY changes...not HIS  --grin!)

I ask you, "How does this program work?"  I know, IT WORKS REALLY FINE!

Blessings, Peace, and sober Love, Peeps!
Steve

23 comments:

Madison said...

I don't know if you meant this to be funny. But, it's funny. I've had more than one conversation this week about where to go when money is needed and my suggestion has been 'to work'. If I would have said 'to the bank', the listener would have been incredulous. I've found that OP money is alluring. OP meaning Other People's.

Kristin H. said...

Bank-a-roni,

Well done.

See you tomorrow night. 8 PM. Sharp.

dAAve said...

sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly

Cindy said...

The Programs works...sometimes slowly yes, other times...miraculously! I'll take either!

Tall Kay said...

"It works if you work it, so work it cause you're worth it!" And you do such a fine job of working it. That's exactly why we NEED sponsors. A sick mind can't heal a sick mind. I just love the OP money!

Ed G. said...

Great story, Steve.

I hope he can hang onto that toe-hold and step into the program of recovery and the principles therein. It's not widely known that 5-10 years is a dangerous time for us - watch any sobriety countdown.

Blessings and aloha...

Dulce said...

Poor 54 year old boy.
You are great with words dear Steve, and make me laugh Although this is a real story, it is almost like a joke. Some people need more time than others to get rid of that bond...
:)

John DeFlumeri Jr said...

From time to time I meet people who somehow think that others need to make the way for them, and make it easy. It's so backwards. It's easy to yell at these guys.

Shadow said...

sure is time to grow up...

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

And with this story coming on the precipice of my parents coming to visit (YAY GOD! My mom and dad called to say they 'really miss me' and decided to undecide not to visit this way this year.)

So God please let me treat them with all the kindness and love that they have shown me all these years as I acted the fool and the brat and the drama queen. Let me now act the loving daughter who really appreciates every moment and dollar they spent to assist me to a life independent of them and dependent on God. AMEN

Scott said...

working with others is just so awesome... we learn so much...

kool story!

Patty said...

Sometimes brutal honesty is what is needed. Good job Steve.

Blythe said...

Love it.

Hey steve..to answer your question from findyourfirststep yesterday...
I don't have a husband:)

But if I did I KNOW he would be on my blog:)
ha.

have a glorious day.
blythe

Banana Girl said...

It is so tempting to help people with the symptoms and not the disease. What a wonderful lesson for us all! thank you so much for giving me your wisdom and collaterally, your humor this morning. I just love it! J.

paxaa said...

From experience I must agree with Ed G.

The wisdom of your years show.

Sammy Landry said...

thanks steve!!!! you are the funniest ever.
blythe and sammy

Sammy Landry said...

Hey Steve..
I adding you to both blogs..
can you join stayingsoberwithsam.blogspot.com:)

Margie said...

Yes, it's time for him to grow up...grow up quiclky, I hope!
Thanks for the story, Steve.
Love your writings!

Blessings to you!

Margie:)

Ann said...

Great sponsee conversation!! That is how my sponsor was with me and I am now the same way with my sponsees...Iin the longrun I was greatful for someone to finally tell me how it REALLY is instead of what I wanted to hear!!

Syd said...

Great post. I know a few people who have long time sobriety in AA who haven't grown up and at about age 10-12. I know that I have my moments as well. But I don't like asking anyone for anything (a defect!) and certainly don't expect anyone to buy me things that I can buy for myself.

vicariousrising said...

Great story, Steve! It's never too late to grow up.

Anonymous said...

How does this man feel about you telling his story on the Internet?

Steve E. said...

Annymous...GOOD point. I re-read this blog, and you're correct, I told too much, a defect I have been fighting for many years.

I will apologize to this fellow, and then try once more to "amend" my behavior to conform to the Traditions I espouse and love.

I'd sure like to know who is "anonymous" though...we could do email, or even chat in private room. Because you obviously have something I need to learn more of. (Maybe you fear my shortcoming--talk too much. That would be understandable.

PEACE!