DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Friday, September 3, 2010

MAGPIE 30--MY NAME IS BOB AND I'M AN APPLE

BOBBING FOR AN APPLE?




Hey YOU! LADY! That is NOT how we are supposed to eat an apple.

Why Sir, is it your plan to teach me how to eat?

I'll try my best, Lady...First, you do not--not EVER--start from the outside.

Well Sir, then you tell me now: WHICH side?

(Achhhh! WOMEN! Cannot live with nor without these women.) You see Lady, it has ever and forever been a tradition to begin eating from the INSIDE to the outside. Understand?

But Sir, just how do I get inside to DO it?

Ah, yesss, Dear Lady...one day--or night--I will show you just that, but for now look at the top of your apple. SEE?  It's ME! I'm coming out from inside. It is simply--though not simple--the way we worms ALWAYS have done it. Sheeesh--grin!

--steveroni

This was inspired by Willow's blog Magpie Tales
Please visit HERE for more creative poems, stories etc!
And join us for simple, almost rule-free FUN!

23 comments:

Marilyn said...

Brilliant magpie ;-)

steveroni said...

Marilyn that is the first time anyone referenced me with the word "brilliant" since a first-grade teacher did so...making fun of me--in front of the class.

You have redeemed the word, my own self esteem, and that teacher, with but TWO WORDS! Thank you. I'll visit you tomorrow, it is very late here 2:37 AM..OMG!

joanny said...

Steveroni:

A clever witty story, loved how you wormed your way into the lady's heart to teach her, sweet!

Nice magpie, Willow is clever with her photo prompts
Joanny

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Great Stuff!!! Have a great weekend.

JStar said...

This is cute :)

drybottomgirl said...

I picked a lot of "bad apples" before I met my husband! Like this one a lot. Hope you have a sweet weekend! smile and a hug.....

izzy said...

Clever, worm- I was thinking- cut the apple- quarters- take out cyanide seeds
and eat the pulp; inside out..." Grin"

Banana Girl said...

Popping in to simply say hello. Hope all is well.

steveroni said...

IZZY: Love your "grin"!!!

drybottomgirl: You keep being grateful Dear, it "becomes" you.

JStar: So are you --grin!

JOANNY: "...wormed your way..." LOL! YOU are the clever one, the discerning Peep!

A DAFT SCOTS LASS: I lovew your usual "laid back" attitude, girl--"Out-of-Africa"

steveroni said...

BANANA GIRL...It has been TOO long a time...How ARE you???

Gotta get to a meeting here in Sebring, FL...be back later to see your blog--hopefully ya still HAVE one. If so I'll "roll" it. OK?

Everyday Goddess said...

reminds me of my grandfather's old joke;
what worse than discovering a worm in your apple?
discovering half a worm in your apple.

Syd said...

I don't think that I have eaten any worms to my knowledge. And I prefer to be ignorant on the subject.

Scott said...

excellent Mr. Roni! I enjoyed your Magpie piece. Perhaps one day I shall try my hand at a bit 'o magpie.

Be well!

steveroni said...

EVERYDAY GODDESS: BEAUTIFUL! Love that joke...wish I had thought to incorporate it into the Mag. Thanks!

SYD: Me too! In fact, I do not like even butterflies in my stomach--not to mention WORM-HALVES!

SCOTT: It is really easy! I just "picture" myself IN Willow's photo prompt, and "GO WITH THE FLOW!"

Sam Liu said...

This is so wonderful, Steveroni! Witty, clever and very, very charming. The sort of story that brings an instant smile to one's face :D

Dulce said...

ha ha haaa
I don't know what I got to think in the middle of this read -well... you'd better not know.

Cute Veroni!

LOved this
Brilliant and So goood as you...
;)

♥ u

steveroni said...

SAM LIU: Thankfully Sam, I see how you praise--usually rightfully so--everyone. And so my head is not growing bigger than the hat it's wearing.

but when Sam writes such as "witty. clever"...well, that has GOT to make one feel so gooood! Thanks.

DULCE: What to say--you are so nice to this old man in your blogs and your comments, and I am fortunate for your friendship and your followership. Thank you for all of that and more.

Claudia said...

i enjoyed your "worm-talk" steve
you seem to have different personalities…smiles

kathew said...

stellar and clever!

Jim Swindle said...

Cute.

Lena said...

lol...I adore this poem! What fun! Actually, from this weeks Magpie picture I added a grub/worm emerging from the top of the apple (I sometimes photoshop them) and can confirm that worms DO eat them like that!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Как говорилось на Seexi.net Сейчас 17 неделек, тонуса раньше было, а здесь утром просыпаюсь и ощущаю напряжение в животе...продожается уже дня 2. Немного побаливает изредка, но волнует напряжение. У подруги тонус был 3 месяца, ставили угрозу. Но откуда он появляется, в последствии чего?