SOME STUFF ABOUT ME
For two blog-days I have been seriously into the Big Book "Alcoholics Anonymous" because that is where I wanted to be. That is where I needed to be. It is comfortable for me to be studying our literature. Did anyone ever say to you, "I have forgotten more about (whatever) than you ever knew"? Statements like that used to piss me off. But you know, I believe it is possible.
I can "be into" something so much with my time, effort, thought, and work, that I am capable of losing sight of what it was about, in the first place. This happened in the catholic church I have always loved. I "forgot" that I was there to love and serve God--in the person of His people. Then I left the religion, when there seemed nothing 'for me' there. Then I learned that it is not supposed to be 'for me', it's 'not about me'! I learned that in Alcoholics Anonymous.
So, many years after, I joined back with the people of faith, and worked hard there, gave of my services daily (and more) wherever it seemed appropriate. I became so busy there, that in just three years--again--plumb forgot what it was all about. I do know now, that my own slight mission in the church has not changed. It is to share whatever I have with others, and give others--especially the elderly, the wheel-chaired--hope and comfort. It is just that I "forgot". And that leaves me here. Now.
I am most happy, most serene, most safe at an AA meeting. That is where are my true friends. Of course, there are AA members who do not like me--just a few. But even they wish me continued sobriety. I like being with friends who care, who are there, and who love. I have NOT forgotten why I am in AA. I am an alcoholic, and AA is where I belong, to live sober, to be willing to grow along spiritual lines, to trust God, to keep on cleaning house, and to help others. That's about it. That's about a LOT!
As I write a blog or mail my blogging friends I am happy, sometimes overjoyed--especially when I witness growth, change, happening right here on my monitor--with peeps who are staying sober, No Matter What. Again though, it happens that occasionally I lose sight of exactly why I am here doing this (remember the "How" and the "Why" of it from yesterday's blog?).
I began blogging "to expand my circle of friendships", to 'talk' about recovery in AA with others of like mind. I FOUND a few dozen highly intelligent persons, with sense of humor, talents for painting, guitar playing, poetry writing, and exquisite prose. And I loved what I discovered here much more than if it had been what I envisioned. And I still DO love it--all!
Is Pride rearing it's ugliness again? Well, I have dealt with Pride often enough, I know where to go. It IS in our Twelve Steps, and...and...AND in our invaluable Twelve Traditions. Just as one might before a college exam, I am doing a review of the 'whole course'. It is amazing already to me, the different perspectives which are showing themselves.
SOME GRATITUDE NOW
I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR:
God's gift to us--this AA Program
GPS (Global Positioning System), thanks to US Defense Department, (and your tax dollars)!
My family, and my AA family
A FIRST great grandchild to arrive August 11 in North Carolina!!! Maybe I'll get to hold this little one September 1, plus-or-minus a few days??? God, are You listening?? Hmmmmm?
Electric 12-cup coffee-makers (also 36-cup for hurricane days?)
A God Who is Trusting, Forgiving, Merciful, All-Knowing, a Loving Father--Abba, Poppa--to all.
Finally, you Bloggers. To me, this blogging is still the most AWESOME happening in my whole life! To read, comment, share, beware, care, talk, and pray together, and stay sober together. Thank you ALL, who come here today.
More "Gratitude List" on Saturday's blog. I have much for which to be grateful, but not much room left on this blog!