Following sentences in blue color are taken from the book "Alcoholics Anonymous", pages 62-63. These are my all-time favorite pages, as they pinpoint my defects precisely as a Cyberknife seeks out the implanted seeds of gold. (Sorry, that's the best analogy I could recall.)
"Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt."
This is SO me...hopefully, interred in the past. It is time these defects be cast aside, by the grace of God.
I am sick, and I keep trying to prove it. Of course, I'm glad to be here with "my own kind." --grin!
"So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help."
Yep. Mr Chaos. That was me. There is still an email address with my user name: TRBLMKR1... My prayer: God, please send Your Peace to those I may have hurt. Help me to do my part in any repair...or let it go! I am at peace. I am ready at any time to face the future, whatever is there. Your Will be done!
By the way, I am a VERY tolerant alcoholic--it's just that nobody has recognized that fact...yet --grin!
God cares for you and me...(Step 3, "Turn...over to the CARE of God...")
God loves you and me...(Tradition 2, "A LOVING God...")
And Steve loves you all, and wishes for you all--PEACE!