Tuesday, July 28, 2009



Following sentences in blue color are taken from the book "Alcoholics Anonymous", pages 62-63. These are my all-time favorite pages, as they pinpoint my defects precisely as a Cyberknife seeks out the implanted seeds of gold. (Sorry, that's the best analogy I could recall.)

"Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt."

This is SO me...hopefully, interred in the past. It is time these defects be cast aside, by the grace of God.

I am sick, and I keep trying to prove it. Of course, I'm glad to be here with "my own kind." --grin!

"So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help."

Yep. Mr Chaos. That was me. There is still an email address with my user name: TRBLMKR1... My prayer: God, please send Your Peace to those I may have hurt. Help me to do my part in any repair...or let it go! I am at peace. I am ready at any time to face the future, whatever is there. Your Will be done!

By the way, I am a VERY tolerant alcoholic--it's just that nobody has recognized that fact...yet --grin!

God cares for you and me...(Step 3, "Turn...over to the CARE of God...")

God loves you and me...(Tradition 2, "A LOVING God...")

And Steve loves you all, and wishes for you all--PEACE!


Findon said...

Oddly. That is also me too and we are both alkies. Well go figure that one out!!!. Good post Steve

Shadow said...

i love your sense of humour, you troublemaker you!

Queenneenee said...

Thanks Mr. Roni-I really needed to read this! You're amazing dude!

Andrew said...

And peace to you Steve.

Gin said...

Have a great Wednesday Steve. I know you will.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Wow how did we ever know that the BB of AA was written just about us exclusively...oh wait..dammit...I am not terminally unique in this...phoeey...but you know what..I have amazing folks like you to travel trudge the road of happy destiny with.


wolfie185 said...

Great post and your humor and Gabi's got me out of self!! My favorite passage in the BB is the first 2 pages of "A Vision for You" because it discribes my drinking to a T, the man whisling in the dark was me after 9 years of recovery and like that man I jumped but also found the Fellowship mentioned too. I think your pages 62-63 are the most important passages in the book though, they nail the problem on the head and provide a solution in finding a Higher Power to guide us, then we have the 3rd step prayer to put all those words into perspective and mediation/prayer form.
Thanks Steve

vicariousrising said...

Omg, I love that cartoon!

That most of our problems are of our own making is very true. Great post.

Syd said...

I've seen the selfishness in action many times. And occasionally my self-will will run riot right along with that of the alcoholic. That's not a pretty thing at all.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Those are the most worn pages in my book too!!! I keep going back to them over and over anon anon anon anon...

Glad you're with us sharing your experience!

Pete Hoge said...

I prayed to be in contact
with someone who was a sage
about AA.

And I came across your blog.

Sobriety is good and possible.



Steve E. said...

Pete, I thought sage was something Mary LA used in cooking. So I looked it up:

sage: A usually elderly person noted for wisdom, knowledge, and judgment.

So if you REMOVE from the definition "...noted for wisdom, knowledge, and judgment"....what you have left is, well.............ME!

But we WILL stay sober together. Right?

Ed G. said...

Also a favorite passage for me. More like a cyberclub for me than knife sometimes...

Blessings and aloha...