Back Yard of my daughter's home!THE ROAD TO SERENITY: PART ONE
One day, several weeks after I had stopped drinking, my guru-type person queried me: "How is that violin sounding, now that you're getting sober? I'll bet it surprises you how much better you are playing now."
And, probably the first truthful thing I ever told him, "Jim, my violin sounds terrible since I'm no longer drinking, The vibrato is slow, I'm playing out of tune, my bow shakes, and I can't stay in rhythm. Truth is, it's awful!"
Jim shot right back at me, "Well, that's because your HEARING is clearing up."
How do I remember a brief exchange like that, of 34 years ago? One of the early advices I obeyed was from a counselor. He told me, a week before I came into AA, a week before I stopped drinking, to keep a daily log, like a diary-type accounting of my feelings, attitudes, and thoughts. He figured it might help me stay sober (but he didn't tell ME that!). And it did!
Tomorrow I intend to recall--from that log--my 'early days' in this program, and possibly discover WHY I never drank since my first AA meeting. (I already KNOW why! -grin-) Because I SURE didn't do everything according 'to the BOOK'.
Oh, another topic: I absolutely LOVE Gratitude Lists! Please, you guys who write a daily list, keep it up! I'm just thinking that I'm also SO grateful...my Gratitude List is every word I've written in this blogosphere since July 1, 2008. Each morning (or evening, or noon!) I think of those happenings in my life which are nothing short of miracles, gifts from God, and I become so thankful, nearly to tears. Seriously. I've come to love all that IS.
Tomorrow: log-a-roni
13 comments:
what an awesome response from jim. and so darn truthful. i used to think i can't write without drinking. looking forward to your 'captains log star date ...' recollections...
I wish that I had kept a log. I remember fairly vividly the entire scene of my last drunk and the morning I woke up a changed woman, but many of the rest of my memories are "catch as catch can".
I'm glad someone suggested it to you AND that you DID IT!
I have kept a journal since I was 9 years old, and even in my drunken days have my journals, and from the first days of sobriety and there is nothing more amazing than to see the transformations taking place... My Higher Power IS doing for me what I could not do for myself. I love gratitude lists and keep one each and every night!
The light that shines on the yard in the picture reminds me of how it feels in the early days of sobriety. I remember life appearing much brighter, as if in technicolor. Almost blinding, in fact. It began to occur to me (blindingly!) that I had been living in a literal darkness. Whether it was a dark bar, or a dark room (hangover, anyone?) behind sunglasses (double hangover on the rocks, anyone?) or simply the darkness of my own heart and outlook on life.
Today there is light. And super cool longtimers like yourself that show us that the light keeps shining even after putting together a few 24 hours.
I'm loving your pics and looking forward to Log-A-Roni tomorrow. You crack me up Steve-E
Thankfully I have been keeping a log on my blog since I came into AA. I go back often and read. I would like to start making gratitude lists and I'm thinking of making myself a God box.
What a lovely spot in your daughter's garden...
I love reading your blog, 'Roni...
We sure have lots to be thankful for, eh?
Love the photo. And the uplifting post! Thanks for stopping by today. Hope to see you again soon.
=)
Keep em all coming Steveroni. I enjoy reading you every day.
Logs are good.
Nice back yard.
There's some new Toby Keith country song....You Ain't No Fun Since I Quit Drinking.
A friend of mine used to drink alot but says he had a wooden leg, never got drunk, could handle it, etc. What do you AAers say about a person like that?
Tracey.
Nothing!
Mary Christine said...
"I am sorry that I wrote what I wrote yesterday."
I, Mary, am so sorry
That I was such a control freak
I didn't know
That I could be so cruel
I’ll do a 9th Step
Oh, AA, oh, Bill & Bob
Oh – higher power
Oh, yes.
You tell me the 12 Steps
Are part of being insane
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done
[Spoken:]
I, Mary) Am so sorry
(So sorry) so sorry
Please accept my Big Book
But Zane Jabbers is blind
And I was too blind to see
Oh, HIV, oh, dAAve
Uh- Scott W
Oh, yes.
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