Thursday, September 18, 2008


LOOK! There ARE Twelve Steps--COUNT them!


Hello, Recovering Alcoholic! I HATE meetings. I hate your Higher Power, I hate anyone who is working a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you suffering and death. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Disease of Alcoholism. Cunning Baffling, Powerful, that's me. I have killed millions, and I have millions yet to kill. This pleases me. I have SO much work to do. I am a "raging worker".

I love to surprise, to stun you. I am THE expert in
pretending I'm your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Was I not there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was right there with you, "helping" you. I enjoy making you hurt, tearing apart your heart and your brain. I make you so numb you can neither feel, nor hurt, nor cry. Eventually, you can't feel anything at all. For me, this is true glory.

I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you
is simple, painful, long-term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve anything good, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together, we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. We can do it again. Isn't it FUN? People don't take me seriously.

They take cancer seriously, strokes seriously, heart
attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't even know, that without my help these things often would not even be made possible.

I'm such a hated disease, but ya know, I don't come uninvited. You choose to
have me. So many have chosen me over reality, over love, over peace, over truth.

More than you hate me, I hate every single one of YOU who work a 12-Step Program. Your Steps, your meetings, your Higher Power...all weaken me so that I cannot function. These take all the joy out of my life. They reduce me to dormancy.

So, for the time being, I must lie here quietly. Unseen. You don't notice me, but believe this. I am right here next to you, with you. Waiting.
Bigger than ever.

When you simply exist, I may live again. When you really are living,
I only exist. But I AM here...and until we meet again, IF we meet again, I wish you only my best: Suffering and Death.

I am waiting. The one virtue I own is PATIENCE.


Shadow said...

hiding. patiently.
waiting. eternally.
who's going to win...

Anonymous said...

That was awesome Steve! I can never forget even though I am sober and recovering, my disease quietly progresses within me, so patiently.

Anonymous said...

For a minute there, I thought you were Patrick.

Lou said...

So true, Steve-O-Blog-Changer.

J-Online said...

I have read this before and it gives me chills. Thanks for posting this today. It was great talking to you and Anna yesterday. You guys are so wonderful to me. Thank you

AlkySeltzer said...

SHADOW wrote:

"hiding. patiently.
waiting. eternally.
who's going to win..."


Anonymous said...

I never want to forget that it waits there on the fringes. Lurking, hiding. Just waiting for an opening. That opening happens when I am not spiritually fit.

indistinct said...

All we have is a daily reprieve.

Thank you for posting that reminder.


~Tyra~ said...

All I can say is wow.

Akannie said...

Hey Steve-e...

Nice post. I'm grateful to know that I have the Rx for recovery!

Gabriella Moonlight said...

All I have is today and unfortunately a short memory, it is posts like this that help me to remember that I must do the work to maintain my spiritual fitness.
Thank you Steve-o-roni!

recoveryroad said...

Hi. How are you today. A lovely autumn day in London.

I'm not claissically trained but I've taught myself to read music. I'm an old punk rocker, but I'm also obsessed with Bach (JS and CPE), Shostacovitch, Tallis and Faure.

I'm transposing Bach's Cello Suites from cello to electric guitar at the moment. Keeps me out of trouble and stretches me.

I have Grave's eye disease. Currently arrested...thank you, HP!

Loved your post; it's a nasty insiduous and miserable bloody illness I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Have a great day.

Kathy Lynne said...

I've posted this one too...Love it!

Molls said...

This is a great post Steve. I need these kinds of reminders. Thank you.