MY DISEASE SPEAKS TO ME

LOOK! There ARE Twelve Steps--COUNT them!

ANTIDOTE: TWELVE STEPS

Hello, Recovering Alcoholic! I HATE meetings. I hate your Higher Power, I hate anyone who is working a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you suffering and death. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Disease of Alcoholism. Cunning Baffling, Powerful, that's me. I have killed millions, and I have millions yet to kill. This pleases me. I have SO much work to do. I am a "raging worker".

I love to surprise, to stun you. I am THE expert in pretending I'm your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Was I not there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was right there with you, "helping" you. I enjoy making you hurt, tearing apart your heart and your brain. I make you so numb you can neither feel, nor hurt, nor cry. Eventually, you can't feel anything at all. For me, this is true glory.

I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is simple, painful, long-term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve anything good, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together, we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. We can do it again. Isn't it FUN? People don't take me seriously.

They take cancer seriously, strokes seriously, heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't even know, that without my help these things often would not even be made possible.

I'm such a hated disease, but ya know, I don't come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality, over love, over peace, over truth.

More than you hate me, I hate every single one of YOU who work a 12-Step Program. Your Steps, your meetings, your Higher Power...all weaken me so that I cannot function. These take all the joy out of my life. They reduce me to dormancy.

So, for the time being, I must lie here quietly. Unseen. You don't notice me, but believe this. I am right here next to you, with you. Waiting. Bigger than ever.

When you simply exist, I may live again. When you really are living, I only exist. But I AM here...and until we meet again, IF we meet again, I wish you only my best: Suffering and Death.

I am waiting. The one virtue I own is PATIENCE. --anonymous-a-roni