Saturday, March 21, 2009



"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God.

Admit your faults to Him and to others.

Clear away the wreckage of your past.

Give freely of what you find and join us."

--Alcoholics Anonymous, p 164, last paragraph, 1st four sentences

These four sentences--simply and succinctly--entrust to me all I must know, in order to stay sober and live sober. My beautiful Twelve Steps have been given to me here in a version I can memorize, internalize, live with, and work with.

When I find someone troubled by the word or action of meditating, I feed them this group of principles, to think about, to get to know, to love.

I listen in disbelief when someone new in the program reads the Big Book, and says in all seriousness--and in truth!--"I read that chapter and really like it. I could identify with what Bill Wilson was trying to say there."

And I look at the new man--or woman--and remember silently to myself the many times I read the Big Book in my earlier daze. There were no letters or words in my book. Just hundreds of pages of fly shit. (My mother used to call them fly specks, but we knew what she meant -grin!)

But as time and coffee healed me physically, my eyes began to see better, and my brain......well--uh, hmmmm--how should I say this? My brain was not too well meshed right from the start. Let's face it, 1933 was NOT a good year for me--I was born! Things went downhill from there.

But, I digress!

The year 1974 WAS a good year for me, but I was unaware of that fact. Things began to slowly drift uphill. Alcoholics Anonymous was the reason. And after about a year, I could see the words on the pages, but still did not understand them. Even now, I do not understand a whole lot. But I DO know this. It works!

Of course, everyone knows that MY "primary purpose" here is to make me look good, make me sound funny, knowledgeable, and endear you to my heart. When in fact I might--when the weather and the wind are right--hear one of you say, "How did HE get here? Boy is HE a sicko. Well, they say 'some are sicker than others'. I hear he is a 'Big Book Thumper'. And he always brags about how long he's been sober, Ugh...and he just LIVES in meetings. NOBODY can be happy all the time like THAT!"

IF anyone is new here and read that paragraph, I'd better 'splain. IT WAS IN JEST! OK? Anyway, when I start 'jesting' it's time to say "Goodbye" or "good night". With the usual signature L.O.V.E. I have for you bloggers...enjoy a GREAT and SOBER weekend! Yessss!

In love and service, (no jesting there)

Steve E.


Mike Golch said...

in 1947 I was still a practicing drunk ansd struggling in the Air Force as well.

dAAve said...

You're a nut.
(know any squirrels?) LOL

Have a loving weekend.

Micky said...

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

How to recognize a narcissist:
Never love anything that can't love you back

Some say narcissists tend to peak around middle age and then mellow out.

Others say that narcissists stay pretty much the same except they tend to depression as they get older and their grandiose fantasies are not supported, plus they're not as good-looking as they used to be.

The narcissists I've known have apparently always been "that way" and they get worse as they get older, with dramatic regression of their personas after the deaths of their parents and other personal authority figures who have previously exerted some control over the narcissists' bad behavior.

Shadow said...

aaaah, and a GREAT and SOBER weekend to you too. you are a great inspiration, you know...

Hope said...

This is so fitting for me today.
Hugs to you and PG.

steveroni said...

Mike...did you mean 1974?? I bet!

dAAve...I'm a nut, yes. But I do NOT want to know any sqirrels. Weekend looks good, and same to you, man.

Mickey, what can I say? Accidently, your comment got in here, and I'm leaving it, because it reads pretty good. (I'll stop now before writing something I'll regret -grin!)

Shadow...YOU can talk about inspiration, you inspirer, you inspiring person, poet, crazily romantic, with utter sensuality oozing out of every word (sometimes)

and KUTGW (Keep Up The Good Work!)

Cat said...

Steveroni - A cheer for you today:
"Steveroni Your the man - if you cant do it nobody can!"

*waves Pom-Poms*

You and PG have an excellent weekend!

Lou said...

You must be special..you did not get the satanic pig comment. You got a completely new comment with a big word in it.
And how does HE know you are not as good looking as you used to be!! That is not what I hear;)

steveroni said...

Lou, I have received HUNDREDS of items from Mickey, or one of the four people he thinks he is...that was the first one which came even close to being printable. OK?

And so I just wanted to give the "vocal minority" an opinion...just this once! Especially, since this was directed only at me, and not at my church, etc., etc.

Anonymous said...

That is far and away my most favorite passage of the Big Book.

The Real Gal said...

Steve, I am learning how awesome you really are..... keep it up. Love the four step picture!

Findon said...

A great post Steveroni. I only see things when I look back. I didn't see recovery at first. I just saw another day without a drink. Time, you see, is so important.