Tuesday, March 17, 2009



This past week, I have got so serious,
that I really needed an emotional break,
and so I'm blogging today a poem I wrote
in 1959 while I was drunk out of my mind.
I hope and pray that your sensibilities may
not be offended. It will never be my wish
to alienate anyone here.

This is a warning--the following
is NOT the usual "steveroni" fare. This was
actually written on the 24th Anniversary of
Alcoholics Anonymous...but CERTAINLY I
was not aware of that fact!
--Steve E.


So glad I'm not a dog
With families of fleas
Would not be a flower
And get stung by bumble bees
But wish I were a bird
So I could shit on everybody.

Would never be a lion
With all that fluffy fur
Cannot see myself a cat
Afraid of every Grrrrr--
But I wish I were a bird
So I could shit on everyone.

A horse? Never!
Work, work, work all day
And not either a fish, just
To be caught in the bay
But I wish I were a bird
So I could shit all my "friends".

I will not be a cow
And have you pull and tug
You won't hit me with your DDT
'Cause I will not be a bug
But I'd LOVE to be a bird
So's I could shit on you.

A duck I will not be
'cause he can't fly high
A 'Zookey'---nosiree!
You may be one, not I
But when I'm a bird
I'll first shit on you

Not a cow, lion or cat
Not a bug, horse, or 'Zookey'
But let me tell you, my friend...
When you look up to see----
Tweet-tweet, splat...splat
.........................think of me!

-Drunk Steve E. 6/10/1959

In love and service (Somehow that line doesn't seem to fit?)
Steve E.


Larry said...

Steve this is Larry an old high school friend. Your dad was a lot like mine. He worked hard for his family but was not the
I love you kind of guy. I know mine loved me because when I came home from a date at 2 AM he threw a metal porch chair at me. I would like to shoot the sh with you if you are willing. Your dad would not let you practice for 3 hours while they were out in the hot sun pitching hay if he didn't love you.
Your OLD friend Larry.

steveroni said...

Larry, you did not leave any contact info...write: fiddlemn@comcast.net

Also...YOU can't be old--I'M not!

vicariousrising said...

LMAO. You are a poet, Steve.

And I am not sitting below you any time soon.

Zanejabbers said...

Steveroni, how funny you should leave me a comment while I was posting. I love the poem. Reminds me of my saying that some days I feel like a statue in a pigeon park. Or somedays I'm the statue, Some days I'm the Pigeon.

Shadow said...

oooooh, your evil twin....

Selchie said...

happy days... lol. Made me chuckle, funnily enough I got splatted at the weekend. Supposed to be good luck so I didn't mind. And yes definitely a poets soul. Thank you for your kind comment.)))

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

That poem, set to the proper music, could be a HIT!

And it reminds me of ME! Oh boy... I know now why I need meetings and the fellowship!

dAAve said...


Cat said...

Ahh Steve a poet and I did'nt know it!!!

You are correct - not your usual fare but just as entertaining - just as much you (at one time) and I think many of us have been there... with or without the bottle, I am so glad you shared this!

Ed G. said...

Steve - you remind me of the blessing that most of my "drunk art" has been removed from me in the past 25 years.
Mine was never as creative as yours but I cringe even to think of some of the themes that I followed for years...
Blessings & aloha,

molly said...

i was waiting for an ending that said ' instead of being all these, i'll be SHIT because shit DOES in fact shit on things" or something like that. haha. funny shit, man. !!

Indigo said...

Sounds like you were a rather amusing drunk dear friend. It's hilarious to read today, as the truth has already been outed your a wonderous spirited human being. (Hugs)Indigo

Mary Christine said...

But for the grace of God....