Tuesday, June 9, 2009




DAY ONE, we found one egg. PG had called me to the front door, "Look at THIS!!" One Muscovy duck egg. A miracle, I suppose. Only God can make an egg. The next day were two, and then there were three. So I took a shot.

Tonight I counted FIVE eggs, plus (something new) a bunch of soft duck down, plucked off somebody's chest...well, breast, to be precise.

So I will probably be a grandfather again in a prescribed number of days. Since we'll be gone for two weeks, that will make the ducks happy, as they made their home right AT our front door, in the (egg)rock in a kind of trough. It is another happy family in the 'hood. No rent, no taxes, no jobs, no worry, no muss, no fuss

In AA, paradox is a common occurrence. The first I recall was: one plus one equal three. Thus we have Bill W and Dr Bob together bringing into their fold a third, Bill D., the celebrated "Man on the Bed". And the family which emanated from those few now numbers in the millions. "What hath God wrought?"

Really, is it easier for God to give the Gift of sobriety to millions? Or to make one human life in the womb of a mother? Or to allow the hatching of ducklings from six eggs happen?


Remember when one day some self-appointed AA guru announced at a meeting, "If ya havin' trouble with the 'God Thing', use the group as your Higher Power...or a doorknob. or anything, the A/C unit."

Next, a 'humble' Air Force (Retired) colonel would tell how he jumped from a plane and thought his parachute might not open, it was behaving erratically. He said, "Did I say, 'Come help me, doorknob'? Nooooooo...! I said, "Help me O God, Maker of all things. Be my higher Power, today and always!"

There was this unspoken war between doorknob people and the God-peeps. All I could dream up was, "We have ceased fighting anybody and anything..."

To tell the truth, I am just plumb tired of answering every dumb-ass, stupid idea, and having no support, no backup. It's "SHOW TIME", alcoholics! It's time to pick up the loose ball and run toward the goal.

It is not often I get riled up, but ya know, I've about had it with this "easier, softer way" crap. The only reference I ever found to "easier and softer" is "...but we could not." You can see, as I also see, this soapbox stuff will get me--and you--nowhere. So it is 'nuff said...for now!

Gosh, I hate to leave with feelings of disharmony. Actually, after spouting off to y'all, I feel really GREAT again! thank you, Peeps!

In service.
Peace and LOVE for you, from
Steve E

Mary, thank you for Year 7, that is not an easy task, to put your soul out here in view of all. But one day we will each one of us be on view to one another, for all time. So???

This is a service you perform...I KNOW there is one or more who will read your Blog, and receive hope, maybe say silently to themselves, "If she could escape, maybe I can also!"

You are loved by many out here, Mary Christine, "One Sober Alcoholic".


Mike Golch said...

Steve,you are loved by a bunch of us as well.

Gin said...

Great post Steve. I have been following Mary's post as well regarding her years in sobriety. Amazing stuff isn't it?!?! Her honesty is awesome!

dAAve said...

Just an hour and a half ago, our 6:30am group was reading that story of Bill D. in the big book.
Is this a paradox?

Steve E. said...

Brothers in the Spirit.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the 'ol saying "there are no atheists in a foxhole."

Love to you, darlin'.

Cat said...

Your open- writing is what keeps me coming back - tough love or soft - I am reading.

wolfie185 said...

Spout away Steve, good stuff. I am extremely open about God and Higher Power but the door knob or bus thing just never seemed sensible to me, group yeah until you can find a spirituality that works for you, but nothing that is not living and breathing.

Syd said...

I would like to see a mud wrestle between the doorknob people and the God peeps. It must get interesting.

vicariousrising said...

I think if you are not a God person, the guy shouting about how you should be isn't going to make a believer out of you. But whatever. I don't understand the hostility. What I believe has no effect on what you believe unless you let it be so, so why get all riled?

Steve, you are such a lovely man. I am very thankful to have your blog to read. And congrats on being a grandfather again!

Lou said...

For me it's God. But then He spoke to me, so that really put me in His camp.

Mary Christine said...

Gee, thanks Steve.

Zanejabbers said...

The door knob thing always bothered me. So did the atheist thing. But I have learned over the years to adher to the AA code from page 84 - Love and tolerance is our code. I love reading you Steve, you always inspire me in one way or another. Anyone that reads my blog, knows what my Higher Power is.

Just Be Real said...

Sweet Stevie (I know how much you love me calling you this)always a pleasure to see what you post about almost daily! You are special. Blessings dear one!

Kathy Lynne said...

For me it was when I stopped trying to understand and define God (be it Spirit or doorknob) that I was able to find a God of my understanding. How other people get there is none of my business. I can only share that when they do, life will take on new meaning.

Personally the easier softer way for me has been AA. Anything else I've done or tried...led to incomprehensible demoralization. Not so easy and not so soft. xo

mile191 said...

Hey stevo....came by to say hello. I am struggling again. I went out with girlfriend, and gave in to pressures. I just can't be in those environments, something I haven't really come to acknowledge. And I haven't been to meetings, and I am getting down on my self way too often, which drives me to want to escape. I came to you. confession. of sorts. i know that i am in charge of my own healing here, and i thank you and others so much for your support and kindness to me in my struggles. i just had to say hello, and be honest, somewhere. I chose you, and here. thanks for listening, and for being there for me. In so many ways. hugs to you.


Ed G. said...

For today, I leave definitions to other parts of my vocabulary.
For today, I don't need to define or understand God.
For today...