DRINKING ALCOHOL TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLY
THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I NEVER HAD ANY FRIENDS!


NO WONDER I NEVER
HAD ANY FRIENDS!!

This past week, I have got so serious,
that I really needed an emotional break,
and so I'm blogging today a poem I wrote
in 1959 while I was drunk out of my mind.
I hope and pray that your sensibilities may
not be offended. It will never be my wish
to alienate anyone here.

This is a warning--the following
is NOT the usual "steveroni" fare. This was
actually written on the 24th Anniversary of
Alcoholics Anonymous...but CERTAINLY I
was not aware of that fact!
--Steve E.

HOT EVENING IN JUNE 1959

So glad I'm not a dog
With families of fleas
Would not be a flower
And get stung by bumble bees
But wish I were a bird
So I could shit on everybody.

Would never be a lion
With all that fluffy fur
Cannot see myself a cat
Afraid of every Grrrrr--
But I wish I were a bird
So I could shit on everyone.

A horse? Never!
Work, work, work all day
And not either a fish, just
To be caught in the bay
But I wish I were a bird
So I could shit all my "friends".

I will not be a cow
And have you pull and tug
You won't hit me with your DDT
'Cause I will not be a bug
But I'd LOVE to be a bird
So's I could shit on you.

A duck I will not be
'cause he can't fly high
A 'Zookey'---nosiree!
You may be one, not I
But when I'm a bird
I'll first shit on you

Not a cow, lion or cat
Not a bug, horse, or 'Zookey'
But let me tell you, my friend...
When you look up to see----
Tweet-tweet, splat...splat
.........................think of me!

-Drunk Steve E. 6/10/1959

In love and service (Somehow that line doesn't seem to fit?)
Steve E.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Steve this is Larry an old high school friend. Your dad was a lot like mine. He worked hard for his family but was not the
I love you kind of guy. I know mine loved me because when I came home from a date at 2 AM he threw a metal porch chair at me. I would like to shoot the sh with you if you are willing. Your dad would not let you practice for 3 hours while they were out in the hot sun pitching hay if he didn't love you.
Your OLD friend Larry.

steveroni said...

Larry, you did not leave any contact info...write: fiddlemn@comcast.net

Also...YOU can't be old--I'M not!

Judith said...

LMAO. You are a poet, Steve.

And I am not sitting below you any time soon.

Zanejabbers said...

Steveroni, how funny you should leave me a comment while I was posting. I love the poem. Reminds me of my saying that some days I feel like a statue in a pigeon park. Or somedays I'm the statue, Some days I'm the Pigeon.

Shadow said...

oooooh, your evil twin....

sarah said...

happy days... lol. Made me chuckle, funnily enough I got splatted at the weekend. Supposed to be good luck so I didn't mind. And yes definitely a poets soul. Thank you for your kind comment.)))

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

That poem, set to the proper music, could be a HIT!

And it reminds me of ME! Oh boy... I know now why I need meetings and the fellowship!

dAAve said...

LOL

Wait. What? said...

Ahh Steve a poet and I did'nt know it!!!

You are correct - not your usual fare but just as entertaining - just as much you (at one time) and I think many of us have been there... with or without the bottle, I am so glad you shared this!

Ed G. said...

Steve - you remind me of the blessing that most of my "drunk art" has been removed from me in the past 25 years.
Mine was never as creative as yours but I cringe even to think of some of the themes that I followed for years...
Blessings & aloha,
Ed

Sage Ravenwood said...

Sounds like you were a rather amusing drunk dear friend. It's hilarious to read today, as the truth has already been outed your a wonderous spirited human being. (Hugs)Indigo

Mary Christine said...

But for the grace of God....