Appearing daily are "new and improved" methods whereby one can easily stop drinking and stay sober, with no meetings, no sponsors, no steps, no Traditions, no rules (suggestions!) and no lifestyle changes to disrupt one's routine. Below, you will find another such "tried-and-true" method in this
"SPOOF-BY STEVE E"
Ummmmm...I like chocolate! I've been reading and studying the Big Book for a long time...years! And still I find little nuggets of mirth strewn about: do you recall that the BB tells me to eat chocolate?
Check out bottom of page 133 where it says (taken out of context), "...all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate..." (MC, this one is real!)
And this is what has been my style. I can take several words out of a sentence, maybe add or drop one--or change the "do" to a "don't", and procure the meaning I wish to convey. After all, if..."There is a God, and I am He..." then my job is to create, right?
Aside from that, well, you know I was just making a point, correct? But back to the topic, chocolate. I used to declare my favorite town in the country is Hershey, Pennsylvania. The symphony of which I was a member played there while touring the thriving musical capitals of inner Pennsylvania rural counties, -grin! We spent two nights in Hershey, and I shall never forget the street lamps shaped like Hershey Kisses, and other land marks of similar note.
And the smell, that odor, that blissful olfactory happening kept me awake most of the night. And I dreamed I ordered and ate street lamps for breakfast. Oh! The ecstasy! And coffee mocha! And chocolate chip waffles...you get the picture of my raptures.
Well, as with every thing of beauty, there is at least one flaw, one non-perfection. Chocolate is no exception. Here is my problem--or rather WAS my problem. Hershey Bars interfered with my drinking.
(NOTE: I mention the Hershey name throughout this blog, because that was and IS my favorite of favorites of chocolate.)
I could never eat an eight-ounce bar or two, and then get drunk! And that IS why I drank--to get plastered, hammered. When I ate chocolate, I could not then hide from you or anyone else. I could not hide even from myself--which was the worse concernment. So, for many years chocolate--namely Hershey Bars--remained second in preference on my list of two indispensable foods.
Has anyone else tried to swallow a glassful of Bourbon, Scotch, Vodka, Gin--in other words, dietary staples--and got it all the way down, AFTER eating a couple eight-ouncers? It all came right back UP on me--for me...well yes, ON me, too -grin!
And so, I propose that any who wish to stop drinking, develop a Hershey Bar habit--only the BIG ones. As a research project, one might even contract with Hershey Inc., for free bars for life if one could stay sober using the "Steve E Method" of sobriety.
I can just hear it NOW--the beautiful sounds, those words delivered at the Anniversary Meeting: "By the power of Hershey Bars, and the Hershey Company I have managed to stay sober for thirteen years!" (Much Applause!)
"And I am FK'ing MISERABLE! WRETCHED! I've spent five years in prison, two years in a flophouse, three years in a halfway house, three years living in the woods in South Florida, and I stand--all 357 pounds of me--before you to say, 'I owe it all to HERSHEY BARS!' Thank you. Excuse me, I'm going out and get drunk--maybe I can find some normalcy somewhere on this earth!
"The Blog above is NOT true--The following IS true..."
Sent in LOVE and Service
To my blogger-friends,
Today, Thursday, we are traveling across the state to Cocoa Beach, FL, to attend a four-day roundup called "Woodstock of AA", and so my blogs may come through at odd times, or not at all. My new laptop did not make it "home" yet. So I'll be using a strange box.